How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
