you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
