I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
