Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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