Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
