she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize