You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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