i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
