the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
