found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
