So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
