at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
