Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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