her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
