whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
