I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize