Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
