If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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