yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
