I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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