I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This house was built for laser tag.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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