Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
