She's JV to your varsity
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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