some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize