Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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