I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was born a porn star she said
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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