I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
