Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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