I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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