Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
