Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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