you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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