Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
