why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
