yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
