you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
