So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
