the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is Oprah even human
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My life is pants optional.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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