He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
