Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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