Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
