Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
