don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
3pm strippers are depressing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
soo... how was my night?
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