If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
