and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
