I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
