How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize