he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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