I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
