i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize