Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
