butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
