Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Those nachos came to me in a dream
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
