PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
