Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
