whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
